Rosehips and Daffodils
by El-Nadador
Summary: [AU. RenoxCloudxAeris. DiaryFlashbacks.]After basking in the sucess of his bestseller, novelist Cloud Strife hits rock bottom. In effort to rekindle his muse, he sets out to the country only to find himself in a worse dilemma than he was before. Chp 4 Up.
1. 14th March

**Here – I have no idea where this came from, but I hope to continue it. I love AU right now, even though I don't know what it stands for, I just have a rough approximation as to what it means :D. Please review and I will continue it. Some chapters will be in flashback form, most in diary.**

**o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o**

_14th March_

This is unreal. God knows why I am doing this, just hope it helps. Diaries? How the mighty have fallen.

Guess I should name you really. I'll end up sounding like a twelve year old girl at the end of each day, 'Dearest Molly, today I played with Daisy next door'. Ugh. You want a name? Something like Kitty, or Lizzy or anything else that ends in –y? How about a normal name for once…Joel? Pete?

Simon?

Yeah, ok. Pete. That's you. Hey Pete, I'm Cloud. I'm aged 21. Go me.

Just published my third book 'Rosehips and Daffodils', 500,000 copies sold already, I'm a star in the literary world after winning the Bugenhagen Prize.

Shut up, I know it _sounds_ like a pussy name, flowers and all that shit. It's about an abused schizo trying to remember his mother whilst slowly realizing he's just blown her head off. It's a bestseller, get offa my back.

And I'm a fucking loser. Tifa left me. Rufus died. And I've lost the ability to write. So that's great. Seriously, I had an idea, put pen to paper…and…nothing. Normally it'd just flow, but now…Now I'm all screwed up. Tifa. Shit.

I just read what I wrote up there. Sound like an angsty teen trying to get over his first ever girlfriend. Do you know what's worse? What I've gone and done out of misery. It makes no sense – I blew all the money I won on this crappy little house in Kalm, the crappiest village of them all. I left the city and now I'm in some tiny village in the hills. Thought maybe the scenery would help.

It hasn't. Spent twenty minutes looking at the horizon and the most creative thing I came up with is 'I wonder if there's a Subway around here'. God save us all.

Hey, maybe you'll help the whole 'lost my muse' shit going on here. I'll write a decent sentence at the end of every entry. Sounds good, huh? Well, it probably won't, knowing me right now.

Let's give it ago. I'll talk about…my next door neighbor. He's a fucking psycho. I move in this morning, knock on his door out of manners and end up with a nightstick at my throat – fun times! He told me to cram it and piss off, then invited me in for tea. Jesus. Awesome hair though. Kinda thin and a bit creepy. And he answered the door topless. I think he may have been drinking.

Ok, ok, enough with the man-loving. Get my drift, though Pete? I love hair. That's so girly! Jeeeeeesus. It's so weird – I'm reading this crap that I'm spewing out and anyone would think I'm another mindless LiveJournal blogger idiot.

Oh. My. God. I really have lost it. Yep. I swing both ways gladly. Admit it, stupid. You can't deny that guy was fucking gorgeous.

Great! So today, I've started a diary, moved into a new house and decided I'm bi. Fantastic. Well…I guess it wasn't a split second decision, Pete. I did have a boyfriend once. I just am always on the brink of accepting myself…ugh. I'm so screwed up. Or am I? Shit, I'm rambling. I'm drunk. I'm bi. Shit.

No-one else knows though, shhhh. Hah. Everyone knows. I could have 'closet case' tattooed on my forehead and people would figure it out before they spotted my face. Yeah. Oh, this is messing me up already and I've been here for…8 hours.

Now – writing. I promised. Next door neighbour.

Crimson hair in lazy spikes, emulating the lethargy in his movements. Arrogance radiates off of him with the unmistakable aura of alcohol and nicotine. It gives an impression of self-adoration, yet loathing is worn as the scars on his cheeks.

Shit. Sounds like a telegram. Help me, Pete. Hope tomorrow is better. Gotta find a job.

C.


	2. 15th March

_15th March_

Pete (that sounds weird),

I'm a little more sober today. Hope I can write coherently as well. I figured I'd tell you more about the stuff that's happened. So…where to begin?

I'll begin with Tifa. She was the only light in my life.

No, that's a lie. Our relationship was crap; I just told everyone that it was great so many times it's engrained on my brain. She couldn't handle me at first, with me just writing all the time and doing nothing because I just wanted to think. She screwed around behind my back, even when I gave her everything she ever wanted. And when I got famous – she crawled back. Of course. And for some reason I let her.

I know now that for some fucked up reason I loved her. It's excusable, I guess – when she wasn't screaming at me she was so beautiful, thoughtful…Angelic. An angel with a dirty face, I suppose.

It didn't help that Rufus died around this time. He was my brother – sure, we never talked, mainly because I was a big success. He'd worked all his life, you see – university, qualifications, all that stuff that I never bothered with. And it got him nowhere. In fact, all it got him was alcohol poisoning and a nice funeral. Yeah, I guess I should be sadder about it. I am – it's just we never really saw eye to eye. He was never really my brother, in a way, he moved away to boarding school when I was 7. Didn't help that he was one of Tifa's little friends either.

Anyway – I promised I'd move on. That's my old life. I start again today!

So, what happened today? I got up, showered, ate, went outside and lay on the grass. Bang – inspiration – the grinning mug of that bishie next door appeared hovering over me. Cold as ice, I ignored – then he started talking, all like 'more interesting things than clouds round here, you know…' I just rolled away and stood up. Ended up just looking at each other and I felt like a chat. So, I asked him what kind of things and he just winked at me and said 'I'll show you another time' and he pranced off back to his own house. Weirdo.

Yeah. Can't say I'm getting much in the way of writing motivation around here. It's so pretty…and boring. They were really scraping the barrel for personalities in this town – that guy next door, some woman down the street with more cats than sense…I'll tell you another time about the others. Still. Only my second day, right? Things'll get better.

My sentence – on Tifa. To be read with as much bitterness in voice as possible.

Beloved betrayal. Saccarin sentiments. Silicon screams of a name that meant no more than money for luxury. Founded on lies, constructed on heartbreak. I won't forgive.

Sounds like poetry, huh Pete? Alliteration. Things'll get better my ass.

C.


	3. 16th March

_16th March_

Pete.

What's that Shakespeare? Oh Christ, you know how it goes – 'never saw true beauty till this night' something like that. Yeah. Turned into that jelly-legs sap Romeo myself today. God. Words seriously cannot describe. I'll try for your sake though.

Okay, started off with Reno (found his name out today when I intercepted his mail) throwing his TV into my garden this morning. Not sure why, haven't really been able to get in within a 10 metre radius of him without him really scaring me. Anyway, as a result I spent about eight minutes staring at my garden and realising it was really shitty and boring. So I went to some of the village shops to see if there was anything there to help me out.

And there it was, some beacon of hope, also known as 'Aeris' Flowers'. Walked in and there was no-one there 'cept me and about a million different…pretty plants. Who knows what they were, all I know is that they looked pretty nice and I wanted them in my garden. So, I went up to the desk, no-one there. Rang the bell, no-one came, and I went to leave when she spoke. 'Sorry, I was out back! Is there anything I can do to help?'. A few words and my brain was going to explode with sweetness….Seriously, that girl sounded like a Barbie if they could talk. So I turned around, and all scepticism evaporated…Jeez, I have never wanted to say 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' more in my life. Didn't help that she was surrounded by roses and daisies and all that crap. Like some romantic movie.

What a loser! Just read the previous paragraph. I need to get a grip, starting now. Oh…but oh man. The greenest eyes I ever saw. So pretty, it was kind of sickening, you know? But in a good way? Who knows. I have no idea where my brain has gone. Gone and fluttered off to Lameville.

Soooo, yeah, she's coming to my house. Oh yeah? Forgot to mention. I described my flowerless situation and she's gonna lend me a hand. That's gonna be the hardest thing in the world – most beautiful girl right next me and Reno a stones throw away too. Since when are crappy towns like this filled with gorgeous guys and dolls instead of old people?

Do I have to write? Dooooo I….? I'll do it tomorrow….Ok Pete. I'll write. What about? Logic dictates I write about Aeris. Think I've said enough so far though…how about something completely unrelated?

Every sepal, petal and leaf is perfection. Deepest scarlet bleeding into cerise, dew droplets like specks of blood. The bittersweet tingle of the vindictive thorns adds fear to the reverence of its beauty. A single rose. A thousand words.

Mm-mm-mmm….I smell a metaphor!

C.


	4. 17th March

_17th March_

Pete…

Today happened to be an alright day. Nothing much happened…oh, except maybe Aeris coming round and spending five hours with her. What fun! (/sarcasm)

Seriously though…it was actually tough going to be sociable at first. I remembered today how crap I am with new people, and I realised apparently how good she is with new people... Meh. Kinda left pretty one-sided conversations, you know? She'd be like 'Oh, this place is so sweet. It's so nice to see new folks moving into Kalm…' and I'd follow up with a well-thought-out '….Yeeaaah…pretty good…'.

What a jackass. Anyway, so…Yeah. She came in, saying something like 'Oh hello there, I'm Aeris and on behalf of the rest of us here in Kalm I'd like to welcome you to our village!' sticking her hand out. I shook it and just mumbled my name and thanks. No problem though, in a couple of minutes we were out back and planting flowers. Weird, seeing as all I knew was her name and the fact that she is the most beautiful

There I go again. Hah, ignore me Pete. Yeah. So there we were, planting flowers with little or no conversation, when my wonderful next door neighbour Reno decided to bug us. He stuck his head over the fence and started chat. He knew Aeris, and took the opportunity to tease me. Bah.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

_Aeris handed him another bulb to plant, whilst he just attempted to ignore the silence that had descended on them both. Thankfully, she spoke at last._

_'You know, it is so nice to have someone else of my age in this village...' she tailed off. Cloud stopped for a second, deciding to answer her._

_'Yeah, well…I guess just old people gets a bit boring sometimes,' a laugh at this. Cloud smiled and continued, 'but there is...my next door neighbour, you know him?'_

_At that precise second, red hair spilled over the fence and the voice that went with it filled the air._

_'Howdy, gorgeous…' he drawled. Aeris just narrowed her eyes._

_'__Reno__.' She acknowledged._

_'Nuh-uh…I was talking to the ice queen here.'_

_Cloud lifted his head and snorted. He couldn't take this guy seriously right now – even if he had just teased him. His hair wasn't tied up and happened to be everywhere. He looked even more a psychopath than usual. No-one continued to speak for a moment._

_'…you know __Reno__, if you just wanted to annoy something, why don't you get a pet?' Cloud jested. __Reno__ opened his mouth in mock shock._

_'Wow! Didja hear that Aeris? The ice queen **talks!'**_

_Aeris appeared to be ignoring him. Cloud looked at them both quizzically._

_'Just leave us alone, __Reno__…' the blonde finished. __Reno__ shrugged and went back into his house. After watching him walk away, Cloud turned back to his companion._

_'…Yeah, what about him?__ He's our age, right?' _

_Aeris set her tools down and looked at him, smiling gently._

_'Unfortunately, yes. We go back…a long way and…Well; you know what he is like. He doesn't count as someone I can talk to.'_

_Cloud nodded and resumed digging. There was definitely some tension there._

****

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Meh, he talked for a bit then went. Aeris said they didn't get on, or words to that effect. Whatever.

He has cool hair though. Wonder if it's dyed…I dunno. He doesn't seem to be the kind to look after his appearance.

Pete – I'll be frank. I cannot be assed to write something. I'll do twice as much tomorrow, k?

C.


	5. 22nd March

_22nd March_

Pete. Jeeze, am I glad to see you again.

I'm sorry for the absence. It's just, you know, the last of the movers came over the past few days and that sucked ass 'cause they pretty much managed to break everything. I felt like suing when the goldfish bowl I've kept since I was a kid ('cause I've always wanted a goldfish, duh) appeared in a four-piece special edition. Oh, and some crazy kid that was with them (mighta been a family business) kept laughing at my hair…until I landed a discreet boot in the ass when no-one was looking. But besides all that crap, it actually hasn't been that bad.

I actually recognise virtually everyone in the village now, even though they still narrow their eyes at me when I walk past. I know where the crappy electrical shop is, the grocery store, where the only bus out of this place stops, yadah yadah yadah, and I've got some pretty practice at walking from my place to the flower shop. Yup. Aeris has really helped me out actually, not just with my previously-crappy-but-now-pretty back yard, but moving and stuff. It's good to chat, she asks a lot about why I came out here and stuff…well, I didn't tell her about the writing, but I told her about Tifa. Turns out some bastard did exactly the same to her. Man, she's got some hang ups about that though – I wish it had never come up in conversation, she was all weird for the rest of the day.

So yeah, I might as well tell you. Ok – so there we were, sorting out all the little things from the boxes now that all the big stuff had gone in, and I was fussing over my goldfish bowl and she was setting out photos. So then, she picked up one, then dropped the dang thing and went all white.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

_'Where shall I put this, Cloud?' Aeris called from behind the mound of boxes. Cloud attempted to wade through the cardboard to look at what she had in her hand._

_'…Oh, the picture of Tifa?__ Er…stick it on top of the side table, if you could, thanks…' he replied. She frowned a little._

_'You know, after what she was like to you I'm surprised you'd want to keep a picture…I know I wouldn't…'_

_Cloud stopped flattening out boxes for a second. He looked at her, and then shrugged._

_'Yeah, I guess…it's just there were some really great times, and that photo happens to be one of 'em…' _

_They paused for a second. Aeris giggled slightly to break the silence as she picked up the next one. Cloud frowned slightly as he saw which one it was._

_'Ah, look how cute you look in this one…who's that with yo-' she said, then stopped abrubtly. The picture slid from her fingers, but Cloud snapped round and caught it just above the ground. Pulling back up, he glanced at her to check she was alright._

_'Hey, you ok?' he asked. He looked at her face – she had paled and was blinking fast. After another bit of uncomfortable silence, she smiled weakly and turned to him._

_'Yes, sorry, it's just…that I've remembered something rather important…would you – I mean, do you mind if I could come back…later?' she stuttered. Cloud was still slightly confused._

_'Yeah, sure…you better hop to it if it's important enough to leave me!' he jested. She laughed faintly, and then turned to pick up her bag. She left without a goodbye. Cloud shook his head, taken aback by the unusual behaviour. He then fell back onto the sofa and looked at the picture in his hand. It was another happy time, he realised grimly. He considered it to be one of the best pictures of him, even though it looked really dumb. It was Cloud with a party hat (slightly lost amongst the blonde spikes) reluctantly pulling back as Zack kissed him theatrically on the cheek. Cloud sniffed, then set it down._

_Suddenly, a noise disturbed his. He got up and glided round the sofa, pulling back the curtain. He could see Aeris had gone straight to __Reno__'s door and got him out. He had clearly been sleeping, he was topless again and rubbing his eyes. But Aeris was gesticulating and talking very fast, and at one piece of information, __Reno__'s head snapped up. He gaped, then looked in Cloud's direction. Cloud shut the curtains to avoid being seen, then sat down again deeply confused._

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

And then after that, she said she had forgotten something to do and ran straight to Reno's house…I kinda took the liberty of watching her. She had gotten Reno out of bed again and he looked pretty pissed, but she told him something that clearly mattered to him. Meh, makes no sense to me. And that's pretty much the most exciting thing that's happened…Except Aeris hasn't talked to me since. And that was three days ago. Huh.

Well, I s'pose I got some writing to catch up on, huh? Let's play 'guess the subject'

Tall and lean, muscled arms outstretched in preparation for embrace. A mess of black hair tumbles down his back, opposing the head of blonde that runs into the hug. The blonde

I'm sorry. I can't do this. This is hurting.

-C.


End file.
